Title: “Frankenstein vs. the Fairies”
Director: Maurice Mclaughlin
Starring: Danielle Smash, Kirk Keller, Muriel Stone
You won’t find Maurice Mclaughlin’s surrealist silent-era masterpiece “Frankenstein vs. the Fairies” on Netflix or on Amazon for that matter, but it is well worth tracking down if you can find it. The premise is difficult to describe. Some of the characters may be fairies. One of the characters may be a mad scientist who may have a reanimated corpse slave, or a daughter, or both. “Frankenstein vs. the Fairies” may, in fact, be one of the earliest film adaptations of Shakespeare’s The Tempest. Maurice Mclaughlin may have had his five year old daughter draw the storyboards, which he then shuffled around and slammed together in random order, though some say he outsourced the storyboards to a reanimated corpse. Many film historians would add, however, that legends about silent-era movies should not be taken too seriously, since they never posted anything to social media. Pics, as they say, or it did not happen.
Kirk Keller plays a character, Danielle Smash plays another character, and Muriel Stone plays yet another character. Some have theorized that they play new characters for each scene, as one does with sketch comedy, or that each character represents a different aspect of one central character’s psyche, as one does with Disney Pixar’s “Inside Out”.
Film historians rarely include “Frankenstein vs. the Fairies” within the general canon of Frankenstein movies, but neither do they count it among fairy tales. It has no story, while encompassing every story. The stunning camerawork by one-time-only cinematographer Clemenson Howard are both gorgeous and revolting in equal measure, which is the mark of true art. Clemenson Howard may or may not have chopped off his camera cranking hand with an office paper cutter so that there would be no pressure to repeat or exceed his achievement. Film historians are still searching for pics.
Search the old video stores and libraries for “Frankenstein vs. the Fairies.” Let it change your life by expanding your horizons, or at least let it become something to geek out and / or laugh about at a cocktail party. Others will pretend that they too have seen it, which is also the mark of true art. Demand pics.
Rating: Not applicable. It would be sacrilege to rate such a masterpiece with mere stars, or in the case of Fake Frankenstein Reviews, lightning bolts.
* This film does not actually exist, but it should.